Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
