The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
