you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
