Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
