I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
wanna go halves on a baby?
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
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and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
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If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
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