just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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