he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize