Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
