I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
