yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Randomize
