i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
