sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize