He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
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They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
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My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
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