I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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