apparently the secret to your success is patron
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
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