Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
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come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
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You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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