I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
