Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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