he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
