I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
soo... how was my night?
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