I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
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He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
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he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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