dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
