we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
