Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
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