but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
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