Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
These tits shall not be calmed
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
