"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
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