so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize