I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
