Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize