David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Randomize
