So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
did i just pee glitter
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
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