went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Dicks are not precious.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
