is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
