All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
