she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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