Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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