You made me cry and you don't even care
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
