she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
