I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
