You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I can't turn off my feet"
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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