Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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