He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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