He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
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