16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
