Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
so much tequila, so little girl.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Randomize
