Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
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