You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
