Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
