i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
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Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
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DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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