I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
