I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
