Hey man sorry I got all grabby
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
