What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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