The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
