What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize