I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Ketchup is God's man juice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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