So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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