God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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