my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
