not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
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