The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
