I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
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