do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
